Originally I had intended to write this post a few weeks ago, after Manchester City was eliminated from the Champions League. It seemed apt, as it was painful to see them fall before the final hurdle yet again. They have been seriously in contention for a first win in the competition the last few years. Sadly for us City supporters, Real Madrid played better on the day and deserved the win, taking them through to the final.
It has taken me a while to work out ways to healthily process loss, particularly a team I support losing a game they had a high chance of winning. Being sad is ok. It is good to lament something we wanted that didn’t happen, or something happening that we didn’t want. But we don’t need to let this pain become our only emotion during times of grief.
A few weeks ago I got the news my grandad needed surgery. It wasn’t great news, and took a while for him to be released from hospital into care at home. I travelled up to be with him and our aunt during this time. As did my brother and my dad. Memories flooded back of the times I had thought to call or visit but hadn’t. To him, every moment together was precious regardless of how long it had been since the last time we’d spent time together.
A few days ago grandad died. This has been hard. He was the last of our four grandparents still alive, and he was wonderful. He is wonderful, and is now with God. He can rest with nana, their son who died too young, and other family and friends passed on from this world.
Grieving is hard. That’s ok. It is a time to lament, but also a time to remember good times. There are many good times.
Before grandad died there was still opportunity to share joy with him. His eyes lit up when I told him my girlfriend and I were engaged. He beamed when my brother told him he’d earned his PhD. The day before, my brother organised a video chat with our sister who couldn’t be here. His eyes sparkled proudly like they did every time they spent time together. He made sure we knew how proud he was of us, his three grandchildren.
Thank you grandad, for more than I can put into words. We will miss you and your canny wit, which you held right until your last breath. I will think of you often as I remember your many wise sayings. One of my favourite will continue to help me as I move through this life.
There are no strangers in this world, just friends you haven’t met yet.
I hope these words of my grandad may also help you.
* * *
Peace to you, readers, and your beautiful souls. If there’s someone you love that you haven’t talked to for a while, it’s ok pick up the phone. Don’t worry how long it has been, let them know you’re thinking of them.
Much aroha (love) to you all.