Lend a hand

Sometimes we need help from others. Sometimes others will ask if we can help them. Neither instance is a sign of weakness, rather a reminder that some things can only be accomplished through connection with others.

Few things in life are more stressful than moving house. Packing boxes, organising furniture, checking the weather reports – there’s a lot to do. Last week, my girlfriend asked if I was available on the weekend to help some of her friends move house. Moving your own stuff for the purpose of furnishing a place for you to live is one thing. Helping others move their stuff for the purpose of them moving in can be less enticing. It doesn’t mean it is any less worthwhile, or that we should expect something in return any time someone asks us for something.

Thankfully, helping others is an easy thing for me to agree to. It doesn’t take energy for me, except if the task itself is one which requires physical exertion. So, on Saturday morning and for a little of the afternoon, I helped pack boxes into cars, shift furniture, hang curtains on their railings, clean a bit, and unload everything at the place being moved to. The weather was wonderfully sunny while helping the moving of house unfold, so that meant everything ran about as smoothly as it could have. At the end of the effort my arms were tired, I was fairly hungry, and I didn’t really have the mental capacity to make decisions about what to do with the afternoon. But it was done.

I’m sure there were many good things about the day, but one of the best was getting to know people I had met only briefly previously and the meeting new friends. Spending time working hard to achieve a meaningful goal is a great bonding experience. It was tough at times, working out how to solve some of the inevitable problems of moving, like taking furniture down stairs with two u-turns, or moving things while other people were cleaning, but ultimately it was very, very worthwhile.

Helping others might not be the easiest thing to want to do all the time, especially when there is no specific lasting benefit for ourselves, i.e. furniture and belongings our own new place. But, helping others offers opportunities for connection and to learn from one other.

* * *

How do you feel about asking for help with something like moving house?

How do you feel when someone asks you for help with something?

* * *

I find it incredibly easy to help others, but deeply struggle to ask for assistance myself. With anything. And when I do manage to extend a request, I often feel bad for having done so. This even extends to a reticence to say “yes” when others ask if they can help me with something.

I’m working on it. I have been for a while. It’s a slow process but I’m working on it. I don’t know if I’m any closer to figuring out how to make it easier, or at least feel a bit better about it, but I’m trying.

Keep on keeping on being awesome.


Cover photo from Negative Space on Pexels.


9 thoughts on “Lend a hand

  1. AP2 says:

    I’m terrible at asking for help too. Perhaps a way I’ve been raised to believe it means I’m weak or something. Like you, I’m trying to work on it. Asking for help – professional help – for depression was the hardest yet best decision I ever made. I’ve learnt it’s not a sign of weakened but something that demonstrates strength (although I still struggle to do this). The reward for helping others is internal. Awesome Hamish. Lovely post and messgae. Wishing you well buddy 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hamish says:

      Thank you my friend. I’ve been finding more and more that the more difficult it is for me to ask for something, the more important it is for me to ask for help sooner when I feel even the barest inkling of being able to.

      Ka pai on making those courageous decisions for yourself. Resistance can be strong even when we see the benefits, so I hope you keep on doing the good things when you can! 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Divine-Royalty says:

    A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream with others is a really. Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.


    1. Hamish says:

      Cooperation is definitely needed with some things in life. Being the right part of the different groups and teams we will find ourselves in will help us live more fully the life and love that God guides us to be part of.

      Thank you for sharing your wisdom my friend. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  3. inspirechief says:

    Hamish, having moved my stuff and helped move others numerous times, I can relate to your article. I always enjoyed the hard work and comradery. Every time we would even up laughing about something that happened during the move. I was always a cheap hire and willing to work long hours for a pizza. keep working on receiving help from others. It is the key to receiving everything you want in life. Take care. Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hamish says:

    There is something deeply satisfying about getting stuck in together and getting it done, even if there’s a few spanners in the works along the way. I am definitely moulding my thought processes to invite others in, both when I’m struggling with things and when I’m working on exciting projects like writing works and making music.


  5. Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet says:

    Cooperation is the reason human beings have succeeded in building civilizations, nations, institutions, families…You lend a hand when it is needed. Hopefully, someone will be there to lend you a hand when you need them. Don’t forget to ask! You are providing them with the satisfaction of being helpful.

    Nice story, Hamish! ❤ Have a great week!

    Liked by 1 person

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