The deep end

Sometimes we are thrown into a situation we didn’t ask for. We have nothing but the clothes on our back and the knowledge in our mind to propel us forward into the unknown. It can be the most disorienting thing going from everything being under to control to not knowing which way is up – do we even want to know?

Change will come along in our lives, and no matter how much preparation we go through, there will always be hitches in the road. And big changes open up the possibility for big hitches. I’ve heard it said that three things that can cause the most stress are starting a new job, moving house, and getting married.

A new job brings opportunity for growth, and often a steep learning curve. Without an understanding team around us, ready to act with patience, we can flounder and slip beneath the surface. Everything seems even murkier down there. I’ve been fortunate enough to have enthusiastic people around me in my current role, ready to help me learn what I don’t know. But what about mistakes? Things not adding up? Should we just hide under a rock and hope it fixes itself. We are encouraged not to worry about making mistakes because everyone works hard to make sure any problem is fixable. Because it is.

Moving house requires lots of packing to prepare, time management and people-power to help move everything, and acceptance that sometimes things just take longer than you thought. Having the right people around helps. If you have a lot of big things to move then a moving company might be wise. If you’re moving far it might be awkward to make multiple trips. The more things you have to move and the further you have to go, the more planning will be required, and this in itself can be stressful. But, what about that storm? Friends unable to make it on the day? Shattered that treasured thing on the ground? All this can multiply the stress of the situation. We can only control the controllable, and work as hard as we can.

Getting married is big life change. Embarking on the journey of sharing every part of your life with someone is exciting, but if you’re like me and overthink everything, it also brings a lot of ‘what ifs’. I can’t speak from experience because I’m not married and it’s not a thing that is in my immediate future, but friends have told me a lot of planning is required. In our current world who is to be invited is a very different proposition to usual. Venue, food, music; is it going to be big or small? And it’s not just about the event itself but what setting up for the future of spending life together.

If we practice the act of planning we’ll get better at it. But we also need to be able to think on our feet, to enjoy whatever change is going to come, planned or not.

I’m in a discord server with some really good friends where we talk about and play different role playing games. The other day without warning one friend sent a message:

You’re staring at the entrance to a dungeon in the middle of a grove of twisted yew trees. A river splashes over rocks nearby; it runs through the valley a mile before it reaches the lake to the South. What do you do?

Without prompting someone jumped in and began to adventure. Several others including me piled into the wagon that was this impromptu created world. We had not planned for it, we didn’t know what our role was, we didn’t know what rule system we were playing with, if there was one, and we didn’t even know what the aim was in this pseudo-game, but we dived in anyway. Sometimes the best things simply require the right people and “yes we can!” attitudes.

Without knowing we would at the beginning of the day, we created a superbly fun game that we are now making up as we go along. A bit like life really if you think about it.

How is the adventure that is your life going? Are you spending time around people that lift you up? Do you feel fire in your soul to do the same for them?

With the right people around we can make the best of any situation. Peace.

Cover photo by Lukáš Dlutko from Pexels.


5 thoughts on “The deep end

  1. Juliano says:

    There’s a quote that says you are the average of the 5 people who you live with. I’m trying to have always the better people as possible around me. And I can see, the more uplifting people we have in our life, the more we can grow and surpass the chalenges.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hamish says:

      I think that quote is far truer than we realise sometimes. Encouragement to persevere in the face of challenges is what our world needs, now more than ever. Being present we are with the people we are with can also help us, and others, become aware of anything not quite right with our own wellbeing. The less obvious interactions via text messages and social media can sometimes bury these things and create a false sense of comfort.

      As you’ve said, with the right people around, we can identify and working hard to surpass the challenges we will face. 😎


  2. Alice says:

    This is a very interesting post! When we are thrown into situations that involve a lot of change, it can be tempting to feel like we need to “fix” the changes in emotion that happen alongside it but, like you said, sometimes you just need to let it go, surround yourself with positive people and a drive for an adventure to push through it. And that’s ultimately what makes change a really great thing! Rather than something to be fearful of

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hamish says:

      Thank you. 😊 Emotions come and go, and though we may experience more of ones we don’t want at times, understanding it’s ok to feel how we feel is a good step. Life is filled with change, whether we’re prepared for it or not, do we must band together with our “adventuring party” (family, friends, work team, sports team, etc.) and dive in to make the best of it!

      We’ve got what we need if we have the right attitude and a supportive team.

      I hope you are well, and that you continue to go well into this week. ♥

      Liked by 1 person

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