A few days ago the film ‘The Intern’ played on television. My sister and I watched it, both having seen it previously, and we remarked how relatable the characters were. They are not who most of us would consider every day people, but neither are they people with ridiculously over the top abilities. Robert De Niro plays a retired man, widowed within the past few years, who subsequently finds himself with a lot of time on his hands. One way he keeps himself busy is travelling, to see the world, but every time he returns home to his empty house, he feels a little bit at a loose end.
We do not have the luxury of travelling right now, but I still found myself strongly relating to the feeling of being lost. Some days I feel a sense of purpose. The rest I feel like I’m floundering to try and figure out how to achieve anything at all.
If you’ve been keeping up with my blog you’ll know I’m in the process of finishing writing my first book. It’s a lot of fun! I love learning new words and honing my craft. I feel like I get to know my characters the more I write about them. I’m really excited to share this with people! The problem: I’ve not done this before so I am struggling to push past the resistance which tells me there’s no point trying. Maybe I’m not very good at writing? Why would anyone would want to read a story I’ve written?
I’m getting better at putting one foot in front of the other, even if I’m walking around in a circle with no idea of where my next destination will be.
For a significant portion of my adult life I’ve been fond of the idea of having a place to live which is most definitely home. I hope the next place will be one I live for a significant length of time, make many happy memories with my wife (I am not currently married), and where my children grow into wonderful humans (I don’t have children either). I don’t currently have the plan for putting myself in places where this is likely to happen. I feel lost at sea with no land in swimming distance. It seems like there’s no way for me to bridge this gap between where I am and these things becoming reality.
Every day I pray for the peace of mind to lay these worries down. I can only control what I can control. Acknowledging this has been a revelation. It has always been true, but I haven’t always been good at believing it, because having faith things will work out when I’m struggling is tough. But if I keep working hard, knowing the destination I am working towards, the way will be made clear.
Is there anything in your life which you are yearning for? How can you put yourself in a position to work towards it?
Keep on keeping on being awesome. Peace.