We’ve all had times in our lives where we feel like we don’t belong. Even if we are doing something we’ve been doing for years and know the inner workings as if it were as automatic as breathing can seem for most of us. Breaking out of this mindset takes energy and perseverance, sometimes more than we think we have to give.
Nearly every day in my job I experience a feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m under no illusion I am the only person who feels this way, but at times it is difficult to believe. I am slowly developing the mental fortitude at these times to take a deep breath. Then take another one. Then tell myself I am capable of working the job I am in because I am. I am capable of doing it well. It helps that I enjoy it, and that the people I work with are encouraging. When something needs doing we all get stuck in to figure out the best way and get it done. And if I’m not feeling up to being at work my colleagues notice and suggest skedaddling for an afternoon if it seems like it’s a good option.
This feeling of being an imposter in my own skin pervades nearly all aspects of my life at different times. Some aspects more strongly than others. While playing ultimate this feeling only arrives if I feel I am not playing with good spirit. This leads me to talk more and listen less, become angry rather understanding, and sometimes even play in a more physical way which is not being aware of everyone’s safety on court. With the help of good team-mates, and a conscious effort to notice when my emotions are getting the better of me, this feeling of not being me occurs far less frequently than it used to on the ultimate field.
Creativity lives in my bones. Even when doing something unrelated words form into stories, into song lyrics, and into beautiful poetry in my my mind all by themselves. This is built in to my being so you might think it would be impossible for me to feel out of place or inadequate while I engage in writing stories and music. Unfortunately this is not so. It is these things I feel most unqualified to do, even though while I write I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what it feels like I’m built for.
For all of us there will be days it seems we are unable to do anything right. There will be days when nothing feels right even though we are making substantial progress. It is on these days especially that we must be kind to ourselves. We must take a deep breath and know that with the right effort in the right places we can forge a brighter tomorrow.
What things do you do on days you don’t feel like yourself, to keep putting one foot in front of the other? How do you manage the doubts and fears that can sometimes creep into your mind?
Let us know in the comments and we’ll get a healthy discussion going. Or better yet, talk with someone you trust, because you are worthy of time.
Peace to you, dear readers.