Thursday was a really good day. It was productive and fulfilling to play ultimate with good friends again. Yesterday was also a good day. I slept well, got up early enough to have coffee with friends before work, and everything seemed to go smoothly while I was at work. Even when there were hiccups they were ones that were overcome with little stress or resistance.
But, there’s always a nagging feeling that something is about to upset the apple cart. When things are running smoothly, almost too smoothly, that in itself is cause for concern for my over-analytical brain. This is partly a product of the environment I have grown up in, always looking for places where I can help improve process and procedure. Though it is not a far distance from there to drift into the world’s encouragement of almost constant pessimism. This is not healthy, even if the aim is to find ways to better ourselves.
We are not going to succeed at everything we try our hand at. It’s something I’ve said more than once here on my blog, and something I need to keep remind myself of. We want to be good at what we do and ultimately succeed at it. What this success looks like for each of us as we attempt different things will be different. My sister reminds me that even if we don’t get what we thought our desired end result was at the beginning, we have gained information we did not have before we tried. Some bloggers and vloggers she follows offer thoughts on this in more concise ways than I can. (I am unfortunately unable to remember the names of any of them at this moment, so if you are one of the generous people who shares thoughts on such things I apologise for not referencing your work).
Some days we are just unable to accept that things are going well, and this is a good thing. Other days whatever we try our hand at seems to fall apart and it’s difficult to remember this is ok. Though Thursday was a good day for me there were still oddities which I could have succumbed to the negativity of and been brought down. On the way to work in the morning the sun was out, barely peeking through the clouds, but it was out. I didn’t take a jacket with me to work. When I left for my half-hour trek home, it was dark, wet, and cold. Fortunately most of my journey is under the eaves of city buildings, but I still got a bit wet.
I made it home, changed into some dry clothes, and warmed up in front of the TV with some snacks. Because it was raining I even power walked so shortened what can be less productive travel time.
Sometimes it is going to rain. We can work to change our perception of what this means for us. A failure does not mean we are failure. Each is a valuable lesson we can learn from. Perhaps what we tried is not for us. Perhaps what we tried is not for us right now. Or perhaps we must practice patience, keep working at it, and the success we are aiming for will follow.
You have magical creativity within your veins of a kind no one else has. Please bless the world with its goodness when you can.
Peace to you, dear friends.
Hard lines, heavy times, and handblocks 