Tired

Several weeks ago I rolled my ankle, probably rather badly, and have been unable to play sport. (My body has a high pain tolerance so sometimes I am unable to tell how serious an injury might be.) I’ve had ankle injuries before so I drew upon my past knowledge for recovery, asked friends who have had similar injuries, and sought advice and treatment from my physio. I asked for help, in several different places. It seems easy to ask for help when we sustain a physical injury or ailment.

This week I played the first game of ultimate and participated in my first training since sustaining the injury. I am relatively fit but both days I ended up very tired, for the first time in over a year. Don’t get my wrong, I do get tired, but don’t usually feel it badly, and it is not as obvious on the outside. I usually conserve energy by running less and mentally make up for it by playing smarter not harder. This time my brain was unable to easily do this, it was tired too. Usually I can play ultimate on autopilot, the running, the throwing, the catching, the discussions, even a positive (enough) attitude. On these two days I felt less able to do so.

At this point I would normally go into ‘shut down’ mode and withdraw myself away to recharge, while the ultimate was still going on. Thankfully this week, I had the energy to keep going, even at a lower capacity, and keep having fun. This is not usual. It was unfamiliar and difficult to explain to my brain. I was tired, but didn’t have to do anything differently to keep being me.

We all get tired. Some things make us more tired than others. Over the past week I have become increasingly tired of applying for jobs, and looking for a place to live where both the current flatmates and I think the other a good fit. This has been a struggle. I don’t like feeling incapable of solving what should be very solvable problems.

I do not have to solve all my problems today. I do not have to solve all problems at the same time. I do not have to solve all problems on my own. I have God on my side so I turn and pray. I have loving family with more wisdom than I can ever hope to be capable of holding in my mind and soul. We are social creatures by nature, and we must turn to those we trust around us for help when we need it.

Whether you turn to God, your husband or wife, your best friend, your mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousin, or a friend you know has intelligent thoughts about a specific struggle; know you are being courageous doing so.

It is difficult to admit we are unable to find a solution on our own and ask for help. But eery time I have actively sought assistance and listened to the response I have been able to find a comprehensive solution. We might not find it today, or tomorrow, but working together with those you trust you can get there.

It’s ok to be tired. It’s ok not to have the energy to ask for help every time. When you do have the energy and you know you need it, take a deep breath and reach out.

I’m still working at it. I believe I will be my whole life. I hope you know you have the courage to do it too.

Be good, keep good, and sleep good, dear readers. Peace.

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