Finding family

For over a decade I struggled to find the energy to want to talk with my parents. Particularly on the phone and via email while away at university it was a difficult thing. I do not experience homesickness much, and seldom talking with my parents did not increase the feeling of homesickness, it instead seemed something normal that I was ok with.

I know my mother will probably read this. That’s pretty cool, to have a mother who cares a lot and shows it by being actively involved in my life. Sometimes though, what I need is space, and time, and people to be ok with me not wanting to talk. When we invite someone to have a conversation, or to go for a walk, or any number of other social activities, it is their choice whether to accept or decline. Whatever their response we must try our best to express positivity for others making the best choice for them. It is ok to be sad we don’t get to spend time with a cool person, but it is also ok that we don’t spend time with them when we ask to. Sometimes it’s not about us, and that’s absolutely ok.

I love my family, my parents, my brother, my sister, my aunts and uncles, cousins, my grandad, grandparents who have passed away. Remembering I love them is something that helps me find it easier to talk with my mum and dad. It requires less energy when I let any unnecessary stress go, ’tis cool to hear what they’ve been up to, and let them know what I’ve been doing too. Sometimes it is not easy to let go of the little things that stress my brain, but I know I can. They often aren’t even things my brain can explain, just annoyance at, well, I don’t what.

I am blessed to be part of a church community that care about each other, and notice when things change, for better or for worse. Showing these people I value them means stopping to talk when we pass in the street, and thanking them for noticing and offering their time. I hope I will continue to give time and generosity freely when I see others in need.

If we have family around, biological or otherwise, that are good for us and we are good for them, spending time with them in whatever way we can is a gift. I thank God for the hope my family provide when I can’t see it. I thank God for the perseverance they show in making time for me when I think spending time with me is a chore. I thank God for lifting the fog from my eyes when I am unable to see the next steps to take.

I pray we all know which people we want to spend time with as we approach the end of 2019, and we can find the strength to tell them we why they are important to us.

Be good, keep good, and sleep good dear readers. Peace.

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