Fear of missing out

It can be easy to focus on what we don’t have. Things we tried that didn’t work out. Mistakes we’ve made. In this life there are lots of things we can want, that would be nice to have, or that will make parts of our lives easier, but we do not need them. Worrying about not having these things can take time away from the important things we do have, and living our lives the best way we can.

This past weekend I competed at the first Division 1 Mixed Nationals tournament in New Zealand, in ultimate (frisbee.) It is the first year the Mixed Nationals have been separated into two divisions. The team I was competing with had quite a few roster changes from the previous year. This has meant more time spent building up new connections and learning how to play with a different set of people, as well as working on strategies and tactics. Most of our games were close but we did not end up winning them. In patches our opposition played better than we did but more often than not we outplayed ourselves, throwing sketchy passes and rushing ourselves. Nothing bad happens if you throw a short completed pass, followed by another one, followed by another one. A longer throw may seem more exciting, and seem like a missed opportunity if you don’t throw it, but a turnover is a turnover and our team’s completion on long throws this weekend was not great. We identified an issue, but changing it over the course of the weekend was a step too far for our team.

One way I entered this tournament differently was adjusting my expectations for where our team might place. I knew with our changed roster, and less practice than previous seasons, there might be a higher chance of mistakes from loose connections. So while we  missed out on a medal, and making the quarter finals, I had a good time with good friends, playing quality ultimate. We experienced the highs and lows together, and even won a game some of our team (including me) honestly didn’t think we had a chance to win. What I didn’t miss out on this time was enjoying the experience of the tournament on and off the field.

Owning a house, finding the “right” job, finding somebody to love who loves us, staying healthy, travelling the world, it can all seem very enticing. It can also be very difficult to cope with not having any one of these things or thinking we might never find it. We can become afraid of missing out and when faced with decisions, large or small, worry overly much about what to choose.

It doesn’t matter what our beliefs, when we leave this earth none of us are able to take any of our worldly possessions with us. Remember to be kind and give generously, because we are all trying our best, even if some days it doesn’t seem like it. On some days it will seem like we don’t do very much, and maybe like me today we won’t even have the energy to go for a walk. That’s OK. Remember, some days we have played the equivalent of an ultimate tournament over the weekend and an intelligent decision is to rest.

Be good, keep good, and sleep good, dear readers. Peace.

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